When the going gets tough...

Well, I've officially hit my "what the heck am I doing here?" part of my move :) It's that joyous time when I really start to ponder why I wanted to make my life more difficult.

I'm not writing this entry as a pity party for myself, but I just wanted to explore some of these feelings. I think they were launched by having two auditions this week that I didn't a callback or cast for. Boy that's rough, but it's also part of the lovely package of being an actor. What's interesting is that one audition I didn't really care about so it wasn't such a disappointment. The other, however, seemed like such a wonderful new play, and I was really holding out hope of being able to do it. So much of the character seemed to resonate with me. Even knowing full well that I didn't completely fit the part (the character was supposed to be at least 5'8", while I'm 5'6"), I still felt like I had a good audition. I hoped that it would be good enough to at least render a callback, where I would be able to see what the other prospects were and then understand if I didn't get cast. But alas, I live in the dark, because I don't know what my competition was.

This is the real world of acting, and I understand it's just part of the whole package, but I think it's particularly tough to take when I'm new. I have no idea if I just was plain awful or if there was someone on par with me that the director already knew. There are just so many different variables, but one major factor is being known. It just makes perfect sense that if you have the choice between two people of equal talent, then you're smart to go with the person you know, because you don't want to risk the unknown when you have the option of security. But at some point I hope that I can get a lucky break that helps me be known as the secure option, that makes me the person they choose.

But that takes time and patience, and at the moment I don't feel so patient. Don't get me wrong, this is not stopping me from doing what I came here to do. I'm still going to audition and audition, and more often than not I'll fail, but hopefully at some point I will start to be known--if for nothing else but as the girl that just keeps coming to auditions. And really, even auditioning helps me improve as an actor, so I'm not just wasting my time. But thank goodness I have solid relationships with my parents and friends, because each rejection is a blow to the self-esteem. Each no is a moment when you ask "am I just not good?". With prayer and people, I seem to sustain some semblance of normalcy :)

So again, this isn't a "feel sorry for Lindsay" entry. I'm putting myself in this position, and I'm very happy to be doing this. But I think it's interesting to explore this aspect of theater. For something that hardly pays monetarily, it still pays pretty high emotionally :)

My voiceover demo

One of the things I have been wanting to work on is voiceover work. Back in March, while I was up in Alaska, my cousin Ian generously helped me out by letting me use his home studio equipment to record some samples of voiceover work. Then, the incredible Randy Johnson was able to take my recordings, choose the best ones, add music to them, and edit together a 90-second sampler which I now share with you.

A HUGE thanks goes to both Ian and Randy for helping me out with this. I wouldn't have been able to do it without them!

To listen to the demo, click here!

Dates for Pilgrimage!

I've received dates to choose for my pilgrimage to Israel!

For those of you that don't know, Baha'is are able to apply for a 9-day pilgrimage where you have a chance to go to the Holy Land, visit places of significance in the Baha'i Faith, and pray in the Shrines. The wait list for going is quite long, and I've been on the list for quite some time (I think I applied in 2002, if my memory serves correctly). The dates I received range from October 2007 to March 2008, and I will send in my prioritized list in the near future.

Think about it: 9 days to focus on your spirituality. I was in Haifa for two-and-a-half years, and yet I was working. This is a chance for me to go on my pilgrimage. I was so thrilled to see the envelope in the mail.

To my friends in Haifa: While I'll of course be focusing on my pilgrimage activities, I would love to hear who may still be there when I come--it would be so wonderful to see friends again!

So my heart is very happy at the moment :)

Get on the bus!

Well, tomorrow will mark my two-week anniversary of riding the bus to work :) I don't know what took me so long! I love riding the bus to work. I don't have to pay for parking, I'm not paying for gas, and there's less wear on my car. And I can't explain why, but I just really enjoy it. Perhaps it goes back to my childhood years, when our family had one car that my dad used at work, so my primary mode of transportation with my mom was by bus. Perhaps it's because it's a bit of a social thing--I'm out with the community on the bus (I don't really talk to people much, so I don't know how much this can count, but I still in a strange way feel a part of the community, if that makes sense). Perhaps it's because I feel like I'm doing my small part to helping the environment. Who knows?

All I know is that I like it. The bus lets me off just across the street from work, and I have a little bit of a walk between my house and the bus, but that builds in my daily walk, which I had neglected when I got busy. I also often bring my iPod, so my life has a backing track for part of the day. Okay, so it's only been two weeks :) And it's summer, so I haven't had to walk in the cold yet. So we'll see how things go. All I know is that for the present I'm perfectly happy with riding the bus :)

Cannibal photos!

Here's a couple photos from the show that the fringe staff took (there are more on the fringe website from the Saturday evening slideshow).

The angle is not the most flattering, but it's the closest those of you who are afar will have to seeing the show!

The second photo is the "Hotchick Indian" Tribe :)

Bloglines is cool!

I love blogs. I absolutely love reading other people's blogs--a lot of you are great bloggers! It's gotten to the point where so many people I know have blogs, that it's almost a chore to keep up with them.

But then my friend Krisia turned me on to this website, Bloglines, where you can create a list of blogs that you are subscribed to. Then, when you go to the site and look at your list, it shows which blogs have new entries and you can click on them from there--how cool is that? You don't have to check each site, and you don't have to check each feed--just go to your list! Maybe everyone is already doing this, and I'm just behind the curve :) But I think it's quite useful!

For those of you that prefer getting an email when I post to my blog, I'll still continue sending messages (you can sign up to the mailing list on the left). But if you go with some other way of knowing that I've posted, you can always unsubscribe :)

Ciao for now!

So inspiring!

I recently read this story that was released in the Baha'i World News Service, and I was so inspired by it--this is a great example of people identifying a problem, and finding a way to address it in such a wonderful, systematic and simple way. I recommend reading the full article by clicking the link at the bottom to continue.
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Empowering Roma mothers to break the cycle of illiteracy

THE JASZSAG REGION, Hungary, 3 August 2006 (BWNS)

-- Before she started studying with the Mesed Project, Agi Racz was ashamed of the fact that she could not read -- and afraid to try to learn how.

"At first I had doubts, fears," said Ms. Racz, a mother of four and a member of the Roma ethnic minority.

But with the encouragement of the Mesed literacy project volunteers and other participants, she overcame her anxieties.

"I felt good with my friends, and it helped me to get over my feelings of shame," she said. "If someone couldn't read she got encouragement from the others. They said, 'Never mind, go on.' I realized that I can do it, that they won't laugh at me."

Ms. Racz is one of some 40 participants in the Mesed project, which was started by the Baha'i community of Hungary in 2003 with the goal of teaching reading and writing to disadvantaged Roma women.

Currently operating in eight towns and cities, the project is distinctive for its use of storytelling in the teaching of reading and writing. The word Mesed is an acronym for "Meselo Edes Anyak," which means "storytelling mothers."

The project aims to help Roma mothers to overcome their fears of reading by encouraging them to read and tell stories to their children -- thereby not only giving them encouragement in the path to literacy, but also to create a culture of reading at home -- and so help break the cycle of illiteracy between generations. ... FULL ARTICLE AND PICTURES

Thanks Alaskan Gang!

So this beautiful bouquet of flowers arrived for me, much to my surprise, as a break-a-leg present from some of my friends in Alaska. It was such a nice thing to do, and it made me so happy--thank you very much!

Cannibal! The Musical opens tonight--yipee!

Ode to my parents

Today is the anniversary of the first day my parents lived together in their married life (that's the pretty way of saying I missed posting on their actual anniversary yesterday!).

As my parents' wedding anniversary approached, I actually thought quite a lot about how wonderful their relationship is. They've been married for 32 years by my calculations (is that right?), and I was trying to figure out why they lasted and others didn't. Of course, there's no magical formula, and there are a million different factors, but the thing that came to mind was respect. My parents really respect each other and our family. I cannot recall a single time that they called each other names--they've argued, don't get me wrong, but as far as even calling each other stupid, I seriously can't even remember. So even when they were in conflict, they seemed to manage to keep a level of respect that I personally think is key to their marriage surviving.

Both me and my brother are out of the house now. As we left, they replaced each of us with dogs (seriously, it's a little scary how the timing matched up!), and now they're living it up! They just had a three week vacation (much deserved after no vacation last year), and do you know what they did? They went camping! Just the two of them! Well... and the dogs :) You definitely don't go camping together if you don't want to spend time together :)

So here is my ode to my parents. I love them deeply and am amazed by them daily. They love each other and our family very much. Here's to many more blissful (and as least challenging as possible) years of married life together!

Come see "Cannibal"!

For those of you in the Twin Cities area, come see this crazy show! You'll have a great time, and laugh a lot. I'm still laughing at every rehearsal, it's just too funny :)

Here are the details for the show:

Two, I say TWO, different opportunities to see the show--during the Fringe Festival in Minneapolis, and in an extended run in Saint Paul!

During the Fringe:
Performed at Mixed Blood Theatre at 11:30pm
August 4, 5, 9, 10, 11, and 12

In Saint Paul:
Performed at the Loading Dock Theatre
August 18 through September 3, 8:00pm Fridays and Saturdays, 7:00pm Sundays

So come if you can--you'll have a shpadoinkle time (if you don't know what that is, then you need to come see the show!).

-ciao!-

The Candle Conference

Hi everyone! I'm in the final week of rehearsals for Cannibal, so it's coming down to the wire! I'll put a separate post with the details for seeing the show for those of you in the MN area, but I wanted to share some photos from my trip to St. Louis!

On the first day I got a chance to go up to the top of the famous arch. You go up in one of these small, Star Trek-like pods:


And here are some views from the top: The old capitol building, the Cardinals stadium, and the hotel I stayed in (notice the pool on top, which I DID swim in!).




And then here's my artistic shot :)


Here are some of my fellow Minnesotans after visiting the company store:


And here is a picture from the stadium and one of Pam and I on the last night:


What a fun time!

-Lindsay-